Category: the Rant Board
I'm so crushed, its unreal. Guess I'm just gonna stop looking for anyoneon here or in the real world to share my life with. Its pointless: I've been hurt by yet another user on here. We spoke last week through pqns, mail, e-mail and zbp. why can't people be staight, and not enterwtine there feelings, because that's what they think the other person wants to hear. in other words, don't candy-coat stuff, don't have time for that. I was also accused of being a player by another user. Think what you will, but i know myself and that statement was inaccurate!
I understand the frustration. We look for maturity and have a damn difficult time finding it. My ex, for instance, seems to have no idea how to deal with the normal ups and downs of an adult relationship so she ran. And I'll tell you the crazy part:
I still love her. Yup, there you have it, all out for the world to read about. The trick is to try to press on.
Life sucks. Get a helmet.
Oh impricator. You always know just what to say.
I have no words of wisdom for you Silky Girl, but I've felt your pain. Now I'm happily married. I guess all I can say is when life seems to be at its darkest, there may yet be light.
I mean this with all respect and compassion, but SG, could it be that you are opening up too easily?
At the last post, that's easier to do online than it is in person. I'm generally a guarded person both online and off, but I can understand how others may not be.
one word. slut.
Wow Razeem. Don't you think that was a little judgmental, callace and wildly inappropriate? It's not like she's sleeping with a ton of people. Even if that were to be the case, why would you be so cold? For that matter, why would you even take the time to post an insult?
not at all. look how many people she's asking for sex on here?
What a little boy!
Where do you get of calling some one a slut?
Well I'm not going to go through each of her board posts and moniter her quicknotes to see if that's true, but even if it were, there's little purpose in calling her a slut. I know this site isn't really known for civil conversation, but still. What purpose does it serve?
One of these days he is going to call someone that and hopefully he will find himself on his but.
How do you know if this party sleeps around? Are you a peeking tom?
Maybe it is just jelisy.
Not at all.
My apologies for any offence...
lmao so no more guys i see. are you gonna go back to liking women. lmao well in my eyes. if a guy ccan hurt u so badly your weak. lmao so hon get the hint
agreed
Razeem:
Name calling is a bit counterproductive yes? As far as her asking for sex I think that makes her a part of the human race. She reaches out for support and she gets called a slut. What a world we live in!
Even the strong among us get hurt, sometimes over and over. Some bring it on themselves, others just attract the wrong kind of people. And we all make unfortunate decisions. We can't choose another's path, but we can choose to support or criticize. Too bad so many of us resort to vain critisisms.
I agree. Whatever Silkygirl's faults Razeem's comments were definitely uncalled for.
Though he has appologized. Not everyone owuld have done that.
I'm not a slut, Razeem! You don't even know me, and that's how its gonna stay!
Fare enough. Yes he is sorry for his actions but sometimes we go to far. What a shame.
would he have appologized if the rest of us hadn't called him on it? doubt it.
Yes, I would have, actually
I for one have no readon to think otherwise. SOme people slip up and feel bad about it.
Well, apparently, judging from his board rank, it no longer matters.
Well, apparently, judging from his board rank, it no longer matters.
My appologies for the duplicate post.
Also judging from his board rank, he had many more apologies to make and didn't make them. lol.
to the original poster, I've been hurt by people too and taken advantage of... i know it's not a pleasant feeling. There are good people out there, but they seem to be hard to find sometimes.
That's for sure!
I like to believe, even if it's foolish, that most people are good. The bad ones are in the minority but they sure stand out and get lots of attention, don't they?
I often doubt that whole most people are good thing.
it also helps not to look. if you're constantly searching for someone, you'll never find that right person easily. if you just sit back and let things come to you i think you'll be slightly surprised
Hmmm, The Black Goddess, I have to say your post rather amused me because as I recall, I've seen some statuses from you saying how you allow someone to hurt you over and over again. Hmmm, Pot? Kettle? I know nothing of Silky Girl, but if she wants to change her mind about which gender she likes, that is her business and her business only. It's a shame no one has called TBG on that earlier. Maybe SG did open up too easily. Maybe she didn't. I don't have publics turned on so I don't see most of this crap, and frankly, I'm glad. My advice SG is be careful who you talk to on here. There are nice people on here, but a lot of them are drama-loving with nothing else to do than pick on someone else. Also, if you're hurt, I would strongly advise not to post your feelings publicly. Maybe PQN or pM someone you know, or if you have friends who live near you, talk to them. Good luck.
I believe most people are generally good overall. The thing I have less faithin is the inteligence or at the very least the common sense of most of my fellow homosapians. LOL.
I think that's true. A great number of people are not usually bad people. Most of the time the offenders simply don't take the time to think about their actions or words
In a way I'm greatful for that, because without such people, Bill Engvall would never have been able to come up with his Here's your Sign comedy bit.
I am not commenting on the board poster or this situation, I don't know about it, but I find that often these types of topics are hard to read.
Is the intention of the poster to get sympathy (kind of the female perspective, at least sometimes), or to get genuine help or comments on what they are doing wrong (kind of more the male approach sometimes).
I have seen these types of discussions in public quick notes, if a zoner that claims to be in a new relationship every 2 or 3 days, then gets all worked up about the "break up" a few days later.
If someone points out that perhaps they should reconsider what a relationship means to them and how they go about it, that person is shot down as mean and inconsiderate, whereas what they are saying is actually accurate, true, and something to think about.
It seems that offering anything that sounds like criticism of the person complaining is tantamount to an inspeakablely rude remark, but sometimes it is what those people need to hear, and something a true friend of theirs would point out.
I generally just stay away from commenting on thse, knowing how they will turn into insult throwing contest.
Of course the type of comments on this board are just both rude and low, but I find that a helpful comment in this spirit, if accurate and applicable are what I would use in a situation where I aws asked for my honest opinion.
OK, I agree with you B, but I would never call a friend of mine a slut or weak. I believe in honesty, and sometimes I know I can be harsh, but words like Slut and Weak are n't constructive criticism. If you can't find anything to say besides "You're weak" or "You're a slut," keep your mouth shut. I know this is a public topic but still. That was unnecessary.
Hi
No, we agree on that. A word like "slut" just does not belong in any discussion, public or private.
Weak, in some cases if it is something said privately by someone who knows you well, in a public forum, no, not really.
Of course, neither do I believe this type of topic really belongs in a public forum to begin with.
We have all used the word slut privately because after all, some people are. However, calling someone a slut, ispecially if you do not know them, is just foolish.
Right. Here I am.
First of all, the other thread was completely unnecesary.
Secondly, as I previously stated above, I would again like to apologize for any hurt caused by my totally uncalled for comment on post 7. I now realise that it was totally inappropriate, and I would like to apologize most senserely to Silky girl. Others here on the zone may have spread rumors about you and dissed you, but seriously, who am I to judge you, when I don't even know what you have been through in your life? Who am I to judge you just by speaking to other people and getting their views on you? right, exactly, I have absolutely no right at all to judge, and especially make a harsh comment there on post 7.
Now, to the others, feel free to diss me for it, since I have already said what I said, but it has taught me to be much more risponsible for my actions.
Again, my sincere appologies to you, Silkygirl. Please forgive me.
Thank you.
Hats off to you for having the guts to come back and appologize. We've all slipped, and some people will never admit it. So good for you.
Yes you have returned a new person. We don't see this often.
thank you very much. :)
I think this thread has expanded beyond its origins.
I think that's the understatement of the week. Lol.
I wish this topic was locked! *zap*
Calling someone a slut in private or public isn't cool..... I'm sorry silky girl. I find good in all people... There are just people who are good who make tuns of mistakes. And to theposter who mentioned people sometimes are a slut, that should not have been said. Where's your respect? If you are saying it to your significant other, that's fine but saying that to the person is harsh enough.
Sometimes words hurt... You have to remember there is another person on the end who you are talking to who has feelings. My advice to silky girl is Don't worry about it.... Try to smile....
Wow, calling your significant other a slut is ok? Where's *your* respect?? Even if it's true, either don't be with that person, because if you have to use a word as harsh as slut to define what you think of them, you obviously don't love them. Or take the high road and forgive them for their past. Now, if the person is unfaithful, and has had a promiscoous past, then calling them a slut in the heat of anger could be understandable. But to just throw it in casual conversation? I don't think so.
Men, call your significant other a slut if and only if you are prepared to die dishonorably and dishonored. The end.
"Slut" doesn't necessarily have to be an offensive or degrading term, but I do suggest you be very careful when and where you use it.
Well, I suppose if it's a fact that someone is sleeping around and therefore is a slut, it would only be stating the truth to say so, but not to their face, and especially not if you're dating that person.
Exactly. I just mean, some people use it to describe, well, someone who is, shall we say, very outgoing in the bedroom. that doesn't mean they're this way with multiple people. they just go all out with the person they're with.
what is wrong with going all out with your partner!!!, um.... not that I would know about this type of sexual play. Oh, heck, screw that, smile!!! play on.
some people enjoy it when their partner talks dirty to them in the bedroom, so saying things like, "You're my naughty lil whore, my cum guzzling slut..." might be totally okay. This is where actually knowing your partner comes in handy. It doesn't mean that you cary this type of talk out of the bedroom or whatever.
I like talking dirty to my partner, :p. a little too much info I know lol.
It is all about context. Now I wouldn't walk around saying this or that person is a slut. However, I am a firm believer in the saying if the shoe fits, wear it. It doesn't mean I have no respect. Rather, it means I have common sense. And I would never call the person I'm with a slut.
Na Jess. Personally, I like it when people say exactly what's on their mind. Guess you can say I'm a TmI sort of guy. LOL.
Besides, it's not a judgement. If I say someone's a slut, it's because that is exactly what they are and I personally have no problem with it.
Well, that's different. But I personally would never want to be called a slut by someone I'm with whether it's in the bedroom or not.
But if you were one could you really be that bothered by it?
I guess that really depends how you view the term.
No, if I was one I would have to accept the truth of it. It would also depend on how it was said.
Maybe I'm old-school, but I just don't see ever telling a woman she's a slut ever. I find it unmanly and boyish if a man does do that. Again, maybe I am just old school.
I agree if you just say "yo slut." That would be rediculous. However, if you said, "she acts like a slut" or "damn what a slut" that is quite different. The way I see it, if it quacks like a duck it sure is one. A duck can't be a shark because it is not. To that end, if you act like a slut, you most likely are one. And if you are offended by the word you eether are one and are ashamed, or no someone who is and, well, you are ashamed. Lol. Another thing, if you are a slut, don't be upset if that is how you are treated.
getting back to the original poster .. silkygirl I really feel your frustration! I understand how a site like the zone can feel like your hole world some times! my only suggestion would be to take some time out from it all and give yourself a break for a while! I admire the fact that you seem to know what you want, you state that you are looking for someone to share your life with so I guess it must be a trifle tedious dealing with people who are not so clear about what they are looking for! as for wb's comments about the purpose of the post, does it really matter whether she is seeking sympathy? isn't that just a form of support? the issue she is currently dealing with might not feel like such a big deal for someone else but to her its clearly making her feel upset! smiles to all ..
well said to the last poster. :)
My suggestion in general is: try not to get too atached to someone you meet online, until you meet them in person. Sadly, many people aren't taking it as seriously as you are, whether they say so or not. I'm not saying don't make friends; I'm not even saying don't get into a relationship with someone online. Just don't let your guard down until you have some something physical to suggest the other person is really going to walk the walk.
Oh I agree. Personally, I've learned to put my heart in a lockbox until I am ready to share it.
it's hard to find a good partner these days. a lot of us good people have been through this situation and it's unfortunate. but we shal wait for the good person because you know you'll find one in the long run.